Back at it!

The last few weeks have been exactly what I needed. After our third attempt at IUI was unsuccessful, we decided that moving towards IVF (in vitro fertilization) was the next logical step. But IVF takes SO MUCH PREPARATION, so that meant that we've spent the last month treatment-less. I didn't realize how badly I needed a month without this stress. No Clomid side effects, no dreaded two week waiting, just trying to enjoy a couple weeks of "normal." As we get closer and closer to finishing up our IVF checklist, those nervous feelings are rushing back at the speed of light. What's an IVF checklist, you ask? Alright, okay I'll fill you in.

THE CHECKLIST.
Warning: You may encounter a bit of what I like to call, TMIVF (get it?)
      1. Consultation ✓
             We scheduled this when we realized our last IUI was unsuccessful. We were pretty sure that IVF is what comes next, but what does our doctor think? She agreed. She didn't think there was any point in continuing with IUI, so she began to explain the IVF process along with possible risks (I'll get to that later).
      2. IVF Class ✓
             This came the following Saturday. I went in expecting a classroom full of couples in the same part of their journey as us, feeling oddly self-conscious that I was by myself (hubby's gotta work when hubby's gotta work). But lucky me, I had the nurse to myself! We once again went through the all-inclusive IVF process: medical, financial, emotional. At the end, she taught me how to draw up the daily injections I'll be giving myself. CUE SWEATY PALMS. Guys, I HATE NEEDLES. I'm not entirely sure why they freak me out so much, but I faint way more often than I'd like to admit whenever I get a shot. Holding a needle that I have to jab into my abdomen? Forget about it. Except, I can't because I WANT A BABY. I'm sure I'll have plenty of self-injection horror stories to come for your enjoyment.
      3. Consent Appointment ✓
             I left the class with a folder filled with consent forms. So. Many. Forms. Agreement to treatment, agreement to medications, and many decisions to make regarding leftover embryos. What happens to them if I die? If he dies? If we both die? If we get divorced? When we've completed our family? Guys, there were SO MANY QUESTIONS that had never crossed my mind. I called to make our consent appointment and the voice on the phone says,

"I'm sorry, but that doctor is no longer with us."                                                                         What. We just saw her last week! She was the head of the department! What's going on!? She

knows us! We've gotten so comfortable with her! None of that matters because she's chose to "pursue other career opportunities." Remember how I'm supposed to remain stress-free through this process? Haha. Our doctor just QUIT. Cue stress. But, we have to continue, so our consent appointment is scheduled with a new doctor. We got to the appointment so prepared. We read everything ahead of time and agreed on all of our choices. But for legal purposes (I assume), the doctor had to read every form out loud to us and sign as a witness to all of our choices. This took about two hours. Good news, we LOVE our new doctor. She came to the appointment addressing all things Unicornuate Uterus. Thank you for reading my file! She's very real, never sugar coats anything, and has a lightheartedness at every appointment that makes me feel so relaxed.
       4. Infectious Disease Testing ✓
             This is standard procedure before starting IVF. Both hubby and I had to have this done. What we didn't know was that they had to draw ten vials of blood. TEN VIALS. I didn't pass out and that warranted ice cream post-appointment to celebrate.
       5. Up-to-date Semen Analysis (we'll call it SA so I don't have to say that again) ✓
             Hubby is way too proud that his "report card" as they call it, came back with an A+. Congrats babe, so proud of you. *insert eye roll here*
       6. Up-to-date Annual ✓
             Sigh, one more errand to run. My OB/GYN can't fax this over without my signed consent, so here I go, what's one more form to sign anyway?
       7. Meet with the Financial Counselor ✓
             Oh my gosh, she is so awesome. She'll stop at nothing to make sure that my insurances pay as much as absolutely possible. As I've mentioned before, I am lucky enough to have coverage under two different insurances and BOTH offer some sort of coverage for infertility. Without this, IVF would be impossible for us. We are so, incredibly thankful.
       8. Trial Transfer ✓
             My doctor described the trial transfer to me as "troubleshooting day." She does a practice run to insert the catheter used for transfer day into my uterus. This way if she runs into any problems, she's not encountering them for the first time on the big day. My UU is positioned pretty far up and to the right, so she was unsuccessful at getting the catheter in on the first try. She ended the procedure and had me drink a ridiculous amount of water. 12 glasses to be exact. I have no idea how I managed to drink 12 glasses of water in such a short amount of time, but I prefer not to think about it. I felt disgusting afterwards. Drinking all that water ensured that my bladder was full (uncomfortably full). A full bladder pushes the uterus downward, allowing for easier access. Her second attempt was successful, and I spent the rest of the afternoon running back and forth from the bathroom.
       9. Blood work and Ultrasound on CD2 (cycle day 2)
             This happens next week. I never get used to this. Invasive ultrasound on CD2? It's gross. I have to remind myself that they do this for a living and it's only weird if I make it weird. Ugh. Moving on.
       10. Start Birth Control on CD3.
             You're as confused as I was. Birth control? But we're trying to get pregnant! Our doctor explained that birth control "holds the horses at the gate." IVF is all about timing, and birth control helps to control that timing as much as possible before stimulant medications begin.

Some checklist, right? And that's just BEFORE we begin IVF.

The doctor told us during both the consultation and consent appointment that only one embryo will be transferred at a time. Having half a uterus makes it difficult to carry one baby full term, and incredibly dangerous to attempt carrying multiples. Two or more successful embryos could result in loss of one or both babies, and complications regarding my own health and safety. We're more than fine with one embryo at a time. We lost our desire to be picky around all things pregnancy a long time ago.

As we get closer to starting IVF, I'm trying to tame the nerves. I'm anxious, excited, terrified. I just want it to work for us so, so badly. 🤞